Your startup just got started up. Everything’s going great. The only problem is your social media has stalled. Or you have 3 Twitter followers and your avatar is still an egg! You spend all your time fixing software bugs, and by the end of the day, you’re exhausted. Who has time for Tweeter, Faceplant, and Pinteresting? Not to mention GooglePlex and Instacramp? Not you, that’s for sure!
Note: I’m exaggerating–most startup managers are knowledgeable about these platforms, just not all of them.
You already know the attributes of a good social media manager, but do you know how to find a terrible social media manager? Here are some ideas to get you started.
Ask your friends down at Bernie’s Bar if they know anyone who’s bought a computer lately, and more importantly, knows what a computer is. Two thumbs up if the computer comes with a keyboard. Make sure they have a CompuServe account. Write them a letter and ask them to Fax them your resume.
Make sure your new best friend claims they can get you 20,000 followers the first week. Never mind that they are bots they bought. Numbers are what matter for “social proof.”
Recruit people with active addictions because they’re so interesting! They’ve got the best stories, that’s for sure. Double points if your social media manager likes to “drunk tweet!”